Sometimes a letter won't do. Sometimes a pigeon is overkill. Sometimes you just need to SHOUT. We've built a form for that. We will likely not hear you, but the act of shouting is, we are told, therapeutic.
Type your complaint, query, observation, or general anguish in the textarea below. The more capital letters the better. Punctuation optional. We pretend to listen.
Each shout is logged in our shout register (a notebook), categorised by topic, and processed in strict FIFO order, except for the shouts about Greggs, which are given priority. Brian aims to read 23 shouts per Thursday. At current volumes, your shout will be read in approximately 2 years, 4 months, and 3 weeks.
We do not reply to shouts. The shout itself is the reply.